An Unfolding Miracle

This most excellent story was sent in over the holidays by a  client of mine, a young woman with lymes disease and a very aggressive cancer in stage 3 when discovered.  As I again remind everyone, miracles are participatory events and the key ingredient in spiritual healing, is one’s open-mindedness, faith and positive energy during the course of the healing.  As Tara gave her health and healing 100% positive response regardless of the external circumstances which could have claimed her life quickly, she instead received rapid healing in mind, body, emotions and spirit.  As she receives the gift of healing, her story now is a gift to others who face seemingly insurmountable challenges.  This story has many levels of understanding, so take your time and read and feel with your heart. 

“Mary Velez is an incredibly talented healer. Her work has been transformational for me, a miracle really. Here is my story:

I have always been a healthy woman.  I have my usual aches and pains and run-of-the-mill colds but otherwise, a healthy constitution.  It wasn’t until I got Lyme disease in 2010 that I really understood what it means to be chronically ill.

However, the antibiotic treatment for Lyme was making me better.  And I thought I was doing a really good job healing until November of this year. 

At that time I was getting ready to take a trip to Carmel California that I’d been looking forward to for over six months.  A few days before it was time to leave, I was in the shower, shaving under my arms when I noticed a huge lump under my left armpit.  It felt like the size of a mango, and I could not imagine what the hell was going on.  I call my sister, who is my first line of defense in any of these situations, and she thought I needed to have a doctor look at.  We both thought it could be an offshoot of Lyme disease which causes problems with swollen lymph nodes.

Two doctors and an ultrasound later I was sitting in a surgeon’s office waiting for a biopsy.  I was positive; beyond positive this biopsy would come back benign.  But I was wrong.  It was a few days later, when I got the call with the news: Cancer stage three.  I questioned the surgeon; because I was sure he made a mistake and realized with heartbreaking clarity that everyone who gets his phone call probably does the same thing.

I felt ill.  I felt nauseous, I felt like I had to double over because someone had just punched me in the stomach.  Cancer are you kidding me?  How is that possible?  It doesn’t even run in my family.  I was devastated.  I never saw the news coming and had in no way prepared myself for this answer.  I kept thinking this is a mistake, someone made a mistake.  This is not my life.  This may be someone else’s life, God bless them, but this isn’t my life.  I felt like I was in a nightmare and I couldn’t wake up– a nightmare that was now my life.

I have to tell the truth I spent days in that space of devastation and anger.  It took days of grieving the situation before I could even begin to consider the next steps that they outlined.  Let’s not even talk about how the next step being chemotherapy was something I have always been personally against.  In my mind, chemotherapy is horrific.  It brought up the same thought I had when treating my Lyme disease with massive antibiotics, which was what if the cure is worse than the disease?  What if the cure is worse than the disease?  It’s a reasonable question.  And to my mind, chemotherapy would be worse than the disease.

In and amongst all this, I had this pervasive sense of failure.  Here I am a metaphysical teacher and coach and shaman.  I am not supposed to get sick.  It’s an erroneous but in fact pervasive that many spiritual people believe that if a healer of any sort is ill that healer has failed to apply healing principles within themselves.

Then I realized, with the help of my sister, that the suddenness of this tumor, the size and the seriousness of the diagnosis meant I needed immediate treatment.  Any complementary alternative medicine, I might have pursued would have a slower healing rate and that was problematic.  I had to allow myself to prepare to accept and work with the idea of chemotherapy as a healing agent.  My first step in moving towards that direction was to stop referring to chemotherapy as poison.  I thought that was as good a place as any to begin.

I shared this information with my dear friend Sandy Curry, who proceeded to then write me a cheer for chemotherapy.  Here is how it goes Chemo, chemo, I love you chemo.  You scrub out my insides and make them gleam, oh!  Which allows my bright light to shine like a beam, oh!  And keep on playing in this amazing dream, oh!  Cause nothing is ever really what it seems, so I love Chemo!

I found this cheer to be both hysterical and incredibly helpful.  It’s true that chemo was going to allow me to keep playing in this dream.  I know the power of my thoughts and my beliefs in creating my reality.  This is true for everyone and I have spent a lifetime monitoring my thoughts and noticing my beliefs so I could be consciously co-creating my reality.  A much simpler way to say this is the thoughts are things, so think good ones.  That’s a quote from Mike Dooley.

So I am clear that before I can have chemotherapy, I need to get on board in my head and heart first.  My sister said it best “You are a process person; you need time to wrap your head around it.  And once you do you’ll be fine.”  Wise woman.  I thought about all that as I waited for the results of all the other tests and scans.

Critically important, I realize is the support network around me.  Within days, I was not only on the prayer list of every friend and family I have, I was also listed with the following prayer groups: Zen Buddhists, Native Americans Benedictine monks, Catholic nuns and even a group called Spiritual babes.  I also got the blessings of a connection to a really powerful energy healer named Mary Velez.

Mary’s remote healing treatments were incredibly powerful, filling the room with beings radiating love and total acceptance.  The emotional, baggage I had met melted away as I could feel total acceptance by all the master beings Mary brought forward to work with.  Mary gave me the gift of several sessions before my first chemotherapy, and after each one, I felt different.  It wasn’t just a physical shift that I felt occur in my body, it was a shift in my feelings and emotions.  For instance, I realized I was no longer blaming myself for doing something wrong.  I let that go as my heart told me it wasn’t true.  I was however still angry, confused and afraid.  I still wanted my full health returned and wanted to skip this entire disease.

Each of Mary sessions suspended my negative feelings, the self-doubt, the anger, the guilt and the blame.  For a period of time from before her treatments to hours and hours later, I felt loved by God and protected in this journey.  When the negative feelings came back, they were less powerful each time.  Mary reminded me about the paradigm of seeing myself as completely able to heal, as part of an ongoing miracle, and to hold on to that thought as I was bathed in the love of the universe.  Mary also had me download some healing music from her website that was truly amazing.  It was by Frederic LeRue and was specifically designed to help heal cancer.

I had two sessions with Mary when I got all my test results back.  They were all negative!  There was no cancer anywhere else in my body.  Now that I knew that, it was time to get to work.

My sister went with me to the first chemotherapy session.  I needed some medicine for anxiety, because although I was able to shift my thoughts to chemo being a healing agent, I was still emotionally overwhelmed about consenting to it.  I brought my headphones and listened to the music CD Mary gave me composed for healing cancer and visualized the chemo being a powerful healing potion. Chemotherapy was part of my ongoing miracle although I got so sick for three days my only function was to surrender to everything.  Part of that illness was due to the chemotherapy killing off Lyme disease.  I was sicker than I could ever remember being.  How was I ever going to go through three more chemotherapy sessions?

When I started to reemerge and recover several amazing things occurred, a series of miracles really.  First my relationships with myself shifted, powerfully.  I have been in a lifelong quest to become loving friends with myself and it happened.  It showed up by me feeling fully myself, more than I had been in a long, long time.  I felt a deep sense of self acceptance.  The next amazing thing is that with each breath of feeling better, I also started feeling happy.  It is a deep, joyful, peaceful, kind of happy.  Within that quiet happiness is a deep sense of gratitude for being alive.  I have not only survived chemotherapy, something had shifted inside my heart, my head and my body.

It was later that I discovered the amazing physical miracle.  The tumor under my arm had shrunk significantly.  It was smaller and softer.  I knew when my oncologist, examined it he would notice the difference too.

Each day that has followed I feel better than the one before.  Truth be told, I feel better than I have felt in years.  I feel better than I had before about Lyme disease.  I feel clear, strong, my mind calm and healthy. 

I know now, I can go through with all the chemotherapy sessions, no matter how I feel afterwards.  I know now that my cancer will be cured and I am already vibrating with health.  I also know- with stark clarity- that all the moments of my life have led to this.  It is not about blame, guilt, denial, anger or anything.  It is about clearly seeing the outcome I want. It is about releasing everything in the way, getting support and healing to move me through this process, and standing in acceptance with faith and the knowledge that my healing is unfolding right now.

Goddess Bless you Mary for being a powerful transformational healer.

Tara Roth

Intuitive Coach and Teacher

www.TaraRoth.com